Only in America

Here’s an equation for you:

Bbq sauce + pickles + 2001 Chevrolet Impala

A woman in Aurora, Ill., found the answer of this equation AND multiplied it by two.

That’s right, her car was slathered in bbq sauce and pickles not once but TWICE. On consecutive nights.

After finding her car covered in condiments the first time, she moved it to a different part of her driveway so it was closer to the house and blocked from view by another car. But still, it didn’t deter the attacker.

Reports the Chicago Tribune,

The victim told police that she suspects the source of the tangy harassment is a woman she had confronted because the woman was interested in the victim’s boyfriend.

After reading about this, and the band writing the song about United Airlines breaking their guitar, I started wondering whatever happened to simple pranks for revenge. In my personal experience (when I was younger and much more foolish, of course), TP-ing someone’s house is oddly fulfilling. Nothing like tossing rolls of toilet paper into the trees. I doubt that satisfaction can be replicated by smearing bbq sauce and pickles. Although who knows, maybe this attacker was on to something. But I’d probably opt for something more delicious than condiments. Were they trying to make some sort of Chevrolet sandwich?